Friday, 22 November 2013

Evil Video 1

It's time for my first entry in a while. Multiple things have prevented me from writing anything up until now, but it was mostly school and the mixtape I have been making myself. I wont review it, and I probably wont bother to post it, but its pretty much why. If you want it and you ask nicely, I'll consider sharing it. But for now, its time to review some REAL mixtapes.
Today, we're going to sith through Evil Video 1. I'm not so sure of the origins of this mixtape, and that's the kind of thing I like. It's like meeting a crazy stranger on a train. You listen to them talk about their life and their extreme political views, you laugh a bit, cringe a bit and then you depart the train never to see them again. Although when it comes to a good mixtape, I would gladly watch it again. I suppose its time to start talking about whether this mixtape fits that category or not. Let's dive right in!

The first thing to note is that this one goes for two hours. Its quite a long mixtape which is basically a good night out. For a mixtape to be this long, it also has to be good. And I don't meant "watchable" good, I mean that it needs to be legitimately interesting for at least 90% of the time, or else it just wouldn't feel worth sitting through. Thankfully this one gets off to a good start.
"The most significant frozen dish of our time" is what they call it. And golly are we blessed to have this product on our shelves. It is also good that a clip like this is allowed to live on thanks to some crafty people and their weird obsession with unusual videos.
Time to make Thanksgiving a thing in Australia, no?
The clip arrangement in this one is seemingly random at times. But not in a way that leaves you baffled and confused, it does however leave you legitimately wondering what is next. Not in a weary way. You aren't thinking "what could possibly be worse?" Which is both a good and bad thing. The good thing is, while there is some pretty explicit stuff in it, it still comes off as a reasonable mixtape to bring out at any party (unless you are  trying to impress that attractive girl who goes to chutrch and never swears, but why would you do that?) while keeping people genuinly entertained. Its a bad thing in that it can be easy ot get distracted from. Even while watching this I was tempted to check my Facebook once or twice.
About 10 minutes in, and we've seen a comercial, some of that weird Japanese porn and some Japanese gameshow footage. Okay, a lot of Japanese gameshow footage. But who could ever get tired of this stuff? Its the kind of stuff that will always baffle us, and that's what makes Asia so great. But there'll be a more detailed look at Japanese game shows coming in a couple of weeks time. I'm more for moving on right now and onto some of the other contents.
Like some topless trailer trash wailing on each other! There's actually some nice headshots in there at some points, but there are some people, probably the fighter's coaches yelling orders that is really annoying. Until the mad kick to the face, but you gotta watch thie clip to see that, cause man... It shuts the coaches up aside from a "I didn't get that on camera!" Luckily, someone was filming!
Its less of a fight, and more of a demolition actually.
This clip is followed by some backyard wrestling filmed on a home video camera with some commentators not saying much more than "OH MY GOSH!" Hilarious stuff. Backyard wrestling is retarded. Yet so damned amusing! Everyone should have to do it!
By the half hour mark, a few drinks should have gone down and you are now feeling a little tipsy. This is when the real fun starts. Its time to get comfortable and enjoy some glorious deteriorated vhs clip from some
foreign version of Star Trek followed by a lonely, sexy puppet and her dog having a good time regardless of the species barrier. And as awful as that sounds, I would much rather watch that clip over the infamous "MAN-DOG-TRAIN" which if I recall correctly, pops up in a number of mixtapes.  But I guess I'll get to cover that travesty some other time. For now, we get to enjoy one of the best bands in the multiverse.
They'll always be through being cool. It's good to know they can spell their band name as well.
One thing I absolutely love in a mixtape is when it is old school. And I don't just mean the content. As far as I am concerned there are two basic types of mixtapes. There are old school and new school. New school mixtapes cover all the mixtapes that have been made using software, so that the clips flow seemlessly (or close to it, some people are more talented than others) and are generally of a higher quality. Old school mixtapes are reliant on hardware. And by hardware I mean VCR and VHS. The clips aren't edited together all that well, because it was near impossible to do it with precision. The quality also tends to suffer as it is ripped directly from a VHS tape, often one that has been watched many times over. The old schoo mixtapes are interesting to watch, because the effort that has been put into finding the clips is a lot more than the new school ones. While some new school mixtapes are made by traders (and those are some of the better ones), the old school mixtapes all contain things that, while not so shocking now, would have been absolutely amazing had you seen them back in the late 80s or throughout the 90s. I try to respect all mixtapes, but the old school ones have a certain charm to them that makes me enjoy them slightly more than most of the new ones.
Hey! That's my ex! Screw you pal!

Towards the hour mark, we get a concept so amazing, that I can hardly believe it hasn't taken off anywhere. So, we all know of the WWF right? Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bob Backlund, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and hundreds of other massively memorable characters? While that stuff is infinitely entertaining, there is something missing. We've always had these Giant characters like Andre the Giant, and these days we have chaps like the Great Khali (is he still around?), but when do we get REAL monsters? Undertaker is dead (or something), sure. But wouldn't it be great to see King Kong vs Godzilla round 2? In a WWF ring? Well, if you answered yes, then this mixtape has something you are going to adore. A wrestling ring filled with buildings, some monsters duking it out. It's like a Rampage and WCW crossover. What the hell more could you possible ask for? Seriously!
Of all of the best things ever that exist, this is easily one of the grandest!
Blaxploitation is something that comes up a lot in mixtapes. There is something that is simply better about a cheesy film that focuses soley on African Americans. There's something about the 70s and early 80s that has left a strange situation in which the cheesier films are the ones that people are more interested in. I've never seen a blaxploitation film I haven't loved. Either I am incredibly strange, or maybe these films contain an ingredient that the blockbusters of the day forgot and left out. Go ahead and watch a few sometime. Blackula is one of my favourites! See if you agree with me, or see if I am just strange.
Sometimes you see a clip that probably shouldn't be so unnerving, but for some weird reason is shake you to your core. I mean, its a clip of something that happens every day and there is nothing unusual about it. In fact, the only reason this clip might make someone cringe is because their culture basically says no. I wont go into any more detail about it, aside from providing a little taste of what it is!
She's cooking up a storm. A poor, poor Storm.
Somewhere between the amazing amount of home made backyard wrestling and the anti-LSD video, and the erotic movie trailer that reveals the truth about masturbation, this mixtape manages to find a place that is entirely enjoyable while also avoiding being too crazy or offensive. I mean, it could very well offend some people who are easily offended, but a bunch of drunk people will end with, at worst, someone crying because a clip brought up a sad memory (probably to do with their parents). But you get that at every party... Until you turn maybe 22 (or most of your friends do. What age are your friends?). This is the sort of mixtape I would probably take out in a crowd of people who seem cool, but I'm not quite so sure of. I'm a pretty bad judge of character to be honest. Maybe I'm desensitised, but this one is maybe mid range for me. Maybe closer to lower mid range. But there are some mixtapes that are filled with gore, there are some filled ot the brim with porn and there are some that contain almost nothing but the two of them. Thankfully, this mixtape has substance. Although, maybe that's just the more crazy mixtapes having their way with my poor, broken brain.
I've seen shit. I've seen some serious shit.
A song about beavers and dry humps between a hippy white girl and an african american guy who, is dressed in all white, and seems to have this hippy wrapped around his finger. Why the hell he would want a crazy hippy like that sure beats the hell out of me, but I guess she's at least moderately attractive? Would you believe, based on what has just been said, that this is a advertisment for some form of pimple remedy? I'm not sure what year it is from, but man I wis hthere were more ads that were comparable to this one. A fairly explicit song followed by a message that teenagers will absolutely hope to relate to. I mean, what better way to sell a product? Sexy people aren't enough, make them partake in sexy activities to make the clip do its job completely.
Oh, and here's a man in a bra boxing a fire breating bear, just beause I think you need to be made aware of it.
Never has a more worthy fight been taken up.
So, how does this mixtape rate? So far, the highest rating for a mixtape is 11. Does this one take the cake so far? Well, I guess you'll need to read on to find out (or just watch them yourself, which is probably the preferred way to go about it).

Humour
This mixtape, while amusing, is not the most hilarious. It has its moments, but it is much more of an after burner to a party than an introduction. I'd expect most people would not only be wasted when it starts, but would also be passed out by its conclusion. So I'll give it two chubby kids out of five.
Insanity
This scores moderately well on the insanity level. Not high enough to cause a sweat, but enough to be offensive to the right kind of person and baffling to anyone who is unaware of what they are about to be shown (obviously, by that I mean a mixtape). I'll give this one three Otto's out of five.

Quality
This mixtape has the old school style previously mentioned that I love. It is obviously a VHS rip which earns it bonus points. I mentioned I love the charm that these mixtapes have, and this one is an absolute prime example of the quality that makes me fall in love time and time again. So, this get's a full five out of five broken VHS tapes for quality.

I hope you enjoyed this review as much or moreso than the previous ones. As always I've had it playing as I wrote the review and have been drinking cheap wine to help me relax and really write how I feel. And as usual I have ended up a little bit more drunk than I should be. This one has a solid score of 10/15, so you absolutely need to watch this one. I know I enjoyed it. To conclude enjoy a picture of a suit made to protect a human from a bear attack, that looks hilariously similar to a Zaku II from Mobile Suit Gundam.
C... Commander Char!

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Lost & Found Video Night Volume 1

Lost and Found Video Night Colume 1 is a brilliant example of a mixtape done well. It combines clips that make you go "uhh, what?" in so many different ways. It features some of my favourite clips of all time, including the Metallica Drummer!
Anything that starts with Metallica Drummer is alright by me. Though, I'm not a fan of Metallica at all, this dude is badass in every sense of the word. You get all these people playing air guitar who think they are being amusing, but very few people who play air drums. This guy takes the air drums to a level that has never been seen before. He has it all set out perfectly. Its like he can see the drum kit in front of him, you need to see this guy actually struggle to reach part of his invisible kit. Amazing stuff.
He's got some mad furniture too.  
If air drums and Crispin Glover singing about clowns isn't you your liking, worry not, This mixtape has a lot more to offer you. Clips from some of the best decades of television as well as some somewhat obscure cinematic masterpieces. But nothing compares to the crazy Steve Vai fan who spends a few minutes queefing, hoping to draw his attention. Somehow, she thought that sending such a video of herself to the man himself would win her the love of one of the greatest guitarists of all time. This video is hard to sit through, and, spoiler alert, we see her more than once throughout the tape. So don't rest too easy once the awkward clip ends.
She's not crazy, honest!
Truth is, there are so many amazing clips in this tape that it is impossible to talk about them all. All of the ones I mentioned so far are at the start of the mixtape, and the clips directly following them are still worth a mention. Whoever put this one together really has a knack for finding the best clips available. A bunch of female wrestlers singing about equality, Mr T talking about being somebody, people with downs syndrome dancingto metal are some of the amazing things you will see which add to this already music filled adventure. Perhaps the people who put this together were more fond of music than anything else? I mean, by 30 minutes, you've seen maybe two or three clips that aren't more focused on the music or a musical artist. To be fair though, pathetic musicians, bad karaoke and terrible songs are pretty much the funniest things you can find.
It simply wouldn't be a mixtape without Japan's contributions to insanity Octopus stealing stuff from a giant... Catfish or something? I don't know. Nor will you. It looks like a kids show but... Are they smoking something? Dunno. Amusing though.
LEG IT!!!
From here, things decsend into utter madness. Clips from... I don't actually know where, but astounding stuff. Almost enough to recruit you into a cult, followed by some disgustingly huge breasts with some Japanese man groping them on a stage (with permission of course). Then Japanese ads for celebrities like KISS and Madonna... It really has everything. Have I even mentioned Bollywood yet? Because it has some brilliant Bollywood clips to, including a favourite film of mine, Don. Its about a mob boss who "dies" but comes back. Its amazing, and actually a very cool story, I'm not sure whether or not there is a Western equivalent, but to be honest, Don is do good there doesn't need to be.
Bollywood is where the REAL films are made
We see a good number of obscure clips in this one, and they really make you wonder "why?" for the entire hour and twenty minutes. Why would someone think of this? Why did that person then decide it was a good idea to turn it into a film? These are questions you wont find answers to here, or in the mixtape. But that should only encourage you to dive deeper into the world of Lost and Found Video Night Volume 1.
A thing I really like about this mixtape is that the clips seem to last awkwardly long when they don't really need to. The clips that will disturb you the most are the ones that drag on as long as they can, making it an incredibly uncomfortable watch for some people. But, again, its not amongst the most insane of the mixtapes. That's not to say it isn't good, it really is incredible. It even has foreign Star Wars (the Star Wars clips are borrowed, which is whats most amusing about it). Also, I may be wrong, but I think I saw a literal bear trying to have sex with a girl as she ran away. So it is a little insane. But everything will be okay, Crispin Glover is going to kick the world back in line!
Master of all martial arts!
This mixtape has a lot to offer on the front of weird clips. And it is probably a good place to head after watching the mixtape I posted last week, the Forbidden Transmission Drinking Game when introducing people to mixtapes. It features at least one clip that was already featured in a mixtape I reviewed, however it is longer here. Wheelchair kung fu fight.
It has some insanity, quite a lot of humour, and is a reasonably high qualuty mixtape. It is up there with the best as far as music clips go, and isn't so porn filled that you would feel awkward putting it on in a crowded room (if you would feel awkward doing that, you need to watch more mixtapes in crowded rooms). We finish off where we begin, with metallica drummer, which is a very nice way to conclude a great mixtape. Anyone not yet fully engulfed in the world of mixtapes will leave this one with a real sense of having learned something, and that something is whether or not they are ready to move onto a more intense challenge.
Absolutely perfect for teenagers, like this guy.
I guess it is time to rate this one. This is probably the easiest part of writing these reviews, so I should probably try to make it more difficult. Any suggestions? Well, for now, let's do this.

Humour
Lost and Found Video Night got some amazing music clips that are truly funny. There are quite a few awkward moments in this one, some are funny awkward, others are just the moments where you should be drunk and having a conversation during in order to let the mixtape move on itself. The funny awkward moments are classics, but the other ones are just sort of... bad. But I guess that is the point. I'll rate it three tubby kids out of five.

Insanity
Somewhere between homosexual doll sex involving a drill and a naked man attached to a cord flying through the air as people laugh at him, this one gets reasonably insane. It would be hard to rate it highly based on some of the other things I've seen, but it still isn't anything to show your emotionally unstable friend. Let's say, three out of five Ottos.
QualityThis one is of a fairly high quality. It's quite clear, but there are a few volume shifts that probably could have been fixed up during the editing phase. These are quite noticable, especially if you are watching in a quiet room at night time. I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of adjusting the volume. Let's give this one a three out of five broken vhs tapes, as at least the footage is of a good quality.


So with that said, there isn't much more I have to add. This is a good mixtape, it can be a lot of fun to show it at a party once all of the lame guests leave. Also, that stoner friend of yours might get a kick out of it at some point. I would totally recommend this one for those two reasons, and if you are looking for something to kill 90 minutes, there are few better ways. Isn't that right, Mr T?
If you not somebody, you somebody's fool.

Friday, 4 October 2013

Forbidden Transmission Drinking Game Mixtape

Everyone loves a good drinking game, and everybody loves Forbidden Transmission. So it was only natural that the guys behind Forbidden Transmission decided to put together a mixtape that encourages you to get really drunk before the next mixtape starts.
A glass of bubbly represents the classier way to enjoy this mixtape
The rules of this drinking game are as simple as they come. When the screen says drink, you drink. You can drink as much or as little as you want, though I would recomment you coming prepared with something strong. Make it a real competition. Whiskey, vodka, or for the more daring, ouzo... Or maybe a comination of a lot of different alcohol! If you remember the whole thing the first time you watch it, you have failed. Honestly, it took me around 30 rounds of playing to actually remember each individual clip, and a lot of them are still very hazy.

The kinds of clips you are treated to in this mixtape are pretty standard. There's no hardcore pornography or anything in it, but there is a bit of nudity. You'll be treated to some cheesy clips like Godzilla vs Mecha Godzilla and Vanilla Ice's Go Ninja, Go rap from that Ninja Turles live action film (that was also incredible)

You know what? Maybe just watch this film instead.
But that's not all you get when you subject your friends to this drinking game. Oh no! See, while seeing a guy who's legs were amputated in a kung foo movie and listening to some incredible power metal by Thor is absolutely a brilliant way to spend an evening, the game has a way of making you not want to drink when it tells you to drink. You are treated to some truly remarkable images along the journey, that start out simple. The first drink card is easy mode, without a doubt, while some of the others are... Well, I want to say better but I'll let you be the judge:
He'll drink to that!
For the most part, there isn't much in this mixtape that would be considered to be as obscure as a lot of the other mixtapes that are out there, but that isn't necessarily a drawback. See, some people prefer to start their friends off easy to gather their reactions to the less crazy stuff before they send them into a downward spiral of madness (not me, I usually start people off with Crazy Dave; but more on those guys later). This mixtape is absolutely perfect for that.
You'll probably still hear them ask "what the fuck did I just see?" fomr anyone who hasn't been exposed to mixtapes before, but it wont be even remotely as severe as it could be. Hell, once the figure it out, they'll probably be lulled into a false sense of security that they will probably regret later on when they have their head in the toilet with a concoction of red wine and vomit covering the floor and walls (yep, I'm guilty as charged of that one).

This dude from Slime City understands how I felt 
Now, everyone has a certain clip that they remember most (if you ask my brother he'll say something about E.T. being violated, but don't listen to him. He's crazy.), and this mixtape has a couple, but so as to not spoil too much more of the mixtape for you, I'll only post about one. I'm not sure where this clip came from, but it is absolutely amazing. It's probably from a documentary.
Anyway, we are seeing a bunch of metal fans standing outside a venue yelling and screaming metal fans do. They jump around, headbang, raise their arms like the Nazis did and scream incoherently about the amazing music they are about to listen to and all in all look to be having a very special time. This is kind of a funny sight in of itself, but there's something else about this clip that just makes it special.
Look at them, Thor would be proud.
In the above screenshot you can see a man standing in the background who just looks out of place, even though he is wearing dark colours like the rest of the people in the crowd. He's notable for not making any sounds whatsoever or moving very much. He simply stares in the general direction of the camera with a completely disconnected look on his face. He's either having a very good time, or a very bad time. I can't see much middle ground in this one.
This guy is absolutely hilarious to watch throughout, even though he doesn't seem to actually do anything. I guess its to do with how much he differs from the crowd, and no, I'm not talking about the colour of his skin. Even the camera man noticed how out of place and funny this guy looks compared to the rest of the crowd and decided to zoom in on him. After all, he's easily the most interesting thing going on in this scene, because we all know metal heads are going to be hyperactive when there's a camera in the mix.
Is that James Franco back there?
His face suggests one of two things. He's on something, or he's bipolar and isn't sure if he actually wants to go to a metal show. I try to give the man some credit and imagine the latter is the case, in which I assume that after the clip he went home to his nice, clean apartment and slept the night away, but the truth is he probably forgot what he was doing and returned to his cardboard box for the night after scrounging some dumpsters for food. Well, okay, that's incredibly rude of me to say, so how's this. He probably went into the show with his metal head friends and had a banging time. He is the king of the mosh pits.
Want proof? Surely this will do?
Rock on Crazy Hobo Dude. Rock on.
And that is the last we see of this man, but not the last great clip in this mixtape. In fact, they save the best clip for last, as a way to congratulate you for lasting all the way to the end, and at less than 40 minutes long that can't be too hard, right?
So really, get your friends together and play this hilariously fun drinking game as soon as you can. You'll only sort of regret it. How do I rate this mixtape?

Humour
This mixtape is fairly funny, you'll get a fair number of laughs out of it, especially as intoxication takes effect. With that said, being a brilliant way to start an evening, it will get people talking and laughing regardless of their moods. So, I give it four out of five tubby kids

Insanity
Overall this one isn't overly insane, but I think that's the point. This mixtape is probably the perfect one for someone who has never seen a mixtape before, so for that reason alone it wont score highly here. Getting you drunk is its only purpose, which give it at least some bonus points, so I would rate it two "Otto"s out of five.

Quality
A very high quality mixtape. Probably amongst the top mixtapes for quality, it feels like a proper mixtape even though it isn't your standard mixtape. I would give this one a five out of five broken vhs tapes.


By now I hope you are wondering where you can get this mixtape. I recall this one being fairly popular, so it really shouldn't be too hard to locate online, however if you do have problems, my email address is in the info bar!

Anyway, that's all from me, until next time, keep circulating the tapes!
TERRORHAWK