Evil Video 1

It's time for my first entry in a while. Multiple things have prevented me from writing anything up until now, but it was mostly school and the mixtape I have been making myself. I wont review it, and I probably wont bother to post it, but its pretty much why. If you want it and you ask nicely, I'll consider sharing it. But for now, its time to review some REAL mixtapes.
Today, we're going to sith through Evil Video 1. I'm not so sure of the origins of this mixtape, and that's the kind of thing I like. It's like meeting a crazy stranger on a train. You listen to them talk about their life and their extreme political views, you laugh a bit, cringe a bit and then you depart the train never to see them again. Although when it comes to a good mixtape, I would gladly watch it again. I suppose its time to start talking about whether this mixtape fits that category or not. Let's dive right in!

The first thing to note is that this one goes for two hours. Its quite a long mixtape which is basically a good night out. For a mixtape to be this long, it also has to be good. And I don't meant "watchable" good, I mean that it needs to be legitimately interesting for at least 90% of the time, or else it just wouldn't feel worth sitting through. Thankfully this one gets off to a good start.
"The most significant frozen dish of our time" is what they call it. And golly are we blessed to have this product on our shelves. It is also good that a clip like this is allowed to live on thanks to some crafty people and their weird obsession with unusual videos.

Time to make Thanksgiving a thing in Australia, no?

The clip arrangement in this one is seemingly random at times. But not in a way that leaves you baffled and confused, it does however leave you legitimately wondering what is next. Not in a weary way. You aren't thinking "what could possibly be worse?" Which is both a good and bad thing. The good thing is, while there is some pretty explicit stuff in it, it still comes off as a reasonable mixtape to bring out at any party (unless you are  trying to impress that attractive girl who goes to chutrch and never swears, but why would you do that?) while keeping people genuinly entertained. Its a bad thing in that it can be easy ot get distracted from. Even while watching this I was tempted to check my Facebook once or twice.
About 10 minutes in, and we've seen a comercial, some of that weird Japanese porn and some Japanese gameshow footage. Okay, a lot of Japanese gameshow footage. But who could ever get tired of this stuff? Its the kind of stuff that will always baffle us, and that's what makes Asia so great. But there'll be a more detailed look at Japanese game shows coming in a couple of weeks time. I'm more for moving on right now and onto some of the other contents.
Like some topless trailer trash wailing on each other! There's actually some nice headshots in there at some points, but there are some people, probably the fighter's coaches yelling orders that is really annoying. Until the mad kick to the face, but you gotta watch thie clip to see that, cause man... It shuts the coaches up aside from a "I didn't get that on camera!" Luckily, someone was filming!

Its less of a fight, and more of a demolition actually.

This clip is followed by some backyard wrestling filmed on a home video camera with some commentators not saying much more than "OH MY GOSH!" Hilarious stuff. Backyard wrestling is retarded. Yet so damned amusing! Everyone should have to do it!
By the half hour mark, a few drinks should have gone down and you are now feeling a little tipsy. This is when the real fun starts. Its time to get comfortable and enjoy some glorious deteriorated vhs clip from some
foreign version of Star Trek followed by a lonely, sexy puppet and her dog having a good time regardless of the species barrier. And as awful as that sounds, I would much rather watch that clip over the infamous "MAN-DOG-TRAIN" which if I recall correctly, pops up in a number of mixtapes.  But I guess I'll get to cover that travesty some other time. For now, we get to enjoy one of the best bands in the multiverse.

They'll always be through being cool. It's good to know they can spell their band name as well.

One thing I absolutely love in a mixtape is when it is old school. And I don't just mean the content. As far as I am concerned there are two basic types of mixtapes. There are old school and new school. New school mixtapes cover all the mixtapes that have been made using software, so that the clips flow seemlessly (or close to it, some people are more talented than others) and are generally of a higher quality. Old school mixtapes are reliant on hardware. And by hardware I mean VCR and VHS. The clips aren't edited together all that well, because it was near impossible to do it with precision. The quality also tends to suffer as it is ripped directly from a VHS tape, often one that has been watched many times over. The old schoo mixtapes are interesting to watch, because the effort that has been put into finding the clips is a lot more than the new school ones. While some new school mixtapes are made by traders (and those are some of the better ones), the old school mixtapes all contain things that, while not so shocking now, would have been absolutely amazing had you seen them back in the late 80s or throughout the 90s. I try to respect all mixtapes, but the old school ones have a certain charm to them that makes me enjoy them slightly more than most of the new ones.

Hey! That's my ex! Screw you pal!

Towards the hour mark, we get a concept so amazing, that I can hardly believe it hasn't taken off anywhere. So, we all know of the WWF right? Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bob Backlund, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and hundreds of other massively memorable characters? While that stuff is infinitely entertaining, there is something missing. We've always had these Giant characters like Andre the Giant, and these days we have chaps like the Great Khali (is he still around?), but when do we get REAL monsters? Undertaker is dead (or something), sure. But wouldn't it be great to see King Kong vs Godzilla round 2? In a WWF ring? Well, if you answered yes, then this mixtape has something you are going to adore. A wrestling ring filled with buildings, some monsters duking it out. It's like a Rampage and WCW crossover. What the hell more could you possible ask for? Seriously!

Of all of the best things ever that exist, this is easily one of the grandest!

Blaxploitation is something that comes up a lot in mixtapes. There is something that is simply better about a cheesy film that focuses soley on African Americans. There's something about the 70s and early 80s that has left a strange situation in which the cheesier films are the ones that people are more interested in. I've never seen a blaxploitation film I haven't loved. Either I am incredibly strange, or maybe these films contain an ingredient that the blockbusters of the day forgot and left out. Go ahead and watch a few sometime. Blackula is one of my favourites! See if you agree with me, or see if I am just strange.
Sometimes you see a clip that probably shouldn't be so unnerving, but for some weird reason is shake you to your core. I mean, its a clip of something that happens every day and there is nothing unusual about it. In fact, the only reason this clip might make someone cringe is because their culture basically says no. I wont go into any more detail about it, aside from providing a little taste of what it is!

She's cooking up a storm. A poor, poor Storm.

Somewhere between the amazing amount of home made backyard wrestling and the anti-LSD video, and the erotic movie trailer that reveals the truth about masturbation, this mixtape manages to find a place that is entirely enjoyable while also avoiding being too crazy or offensive. I mean, it could very well offend some people who are easily offended, but a bunch of drunk people will end with, at worst, someone crying because a clip brought up a sad memory (probably to do with their parents). But you get that at every party... Until you turn maybe 22 (or most of your friends do. What age are your friends?). This is the sort of mixtape I would probably take out in a crowd of people who seem cool, but I'm not quite so sure of. I'm a pretty bad judge of character to be honest. Maybe I'm desensitised, but this one is maybe mid range for me. Maybe closer to lower mid range. But there are some mixtapes that are filled with gore, there are some filled ot the brim with porn and there are some that contain almost nothing but the two of them. Thankfully, this mixtape has substance. Although, maybe that's just the more crazy mixtapes having their way with my poor, broken brain.

I've seen shit. I've seen some serious shit.

A song about beavers and dry humps between a hippy white girl and an african american guy who, is dressed in all white, and seems to have this hippy wrapped around his finger. Why the hell he would want a crazy hippy like that sure beats the hell out of me, but I guess she's at least moderately attractive? Would you believe, based on what has just been said, that this is a advertisment for some form of pimple remedy? I'm not sure what year it is from, but man I wis hthere were more ads that were comparable to this one. A fairly explicit song followed by a message that teenagers will absolutely hope to relate to. I mean, what better way to sell a product? Sexy people aren't enough, make them partake in sexy activities to make the clip do its job completely.
Oh, and here's a man in a bra boxing a fire breating bear, just beause I think you need to be made aware of it.

Never has a more worthy fight been taken up.

So, how does this mixtape rate? So far, the highest rating for a mixtape is 11. Does this one take the cake so far? Well, I guess you'll need to read on to find out (or just watch them yourself, which is probably the preferred way to go about it).

Humour
This mixtape, while amusing, is not the most hilarious. It has its moments, but it is much more of an after burner to a party than an introduction. I'd expect most people would not only be wasted when it starts, but would also be passed out by its conclusion. So I'll give it two chubby kids out of five.

Insanity

This scores moderately well on the insanity level. Not high enough to cause a sweat, but enough to be offensive to the right kind of person and baffling to anyone who is unaware of what they are about to be shown (obviously, by that I mean a mixtape). I'll give this one three Otto's out of five.

Quality

This mixtape has the old school style previously mentioned that I love. It is obviously a VHS rip which earns it bonus points. I mentioned I love the charm that these mixtapes have, and this one is an absolute prime example of the quality that makes me fall in love time and time again. So, this get's a full five out of five broken VHS tapes for quality.

I hope you enjoyed this review as much or moreso than the previous ones. As always I've had it playing as I wrote the review and have been drinking cheap wine to help me relax and really write how I feel. And as usual I have ended up a little bit more drunk than I should be. This one has a solid score of 10/15, so you absolutely need to watch this one. I know I enjoyed it. To conclude enjoy a picture of a suit made to protect a human from a bear attack, that looks hilariously similar to a Zaku II from Mobile Suit Gundam.

C... Commander Char!